Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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