soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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