a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I need moral support for this bender
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
