2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize