I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I touched a dick in church today
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
