No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
