Can i not drive my cunt home
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
