Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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