White coat. Heels.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Randomize
