Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Houston, we have a squirter
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
