So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
