Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
