2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
