More tranny stories later!
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
