I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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