his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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