who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
