fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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