He kissed a someone with a penis
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
