Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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