I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
