he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
you're hired as official boob wrangler
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
