Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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