U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
