Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize