Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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