Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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