Fuck appropriateness.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Randomize
