My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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