a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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