how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize