Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.

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(516): View more from New York

See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil

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(417): View more from Missouri

My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.

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(818): View more from California

Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around

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(540): View more from Virginia

my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.

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(205): View more from Alabama

She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go

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(713): View more from Texas

I want to celebrate with you...

(214): View more from Texas

There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"

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