There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
