I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
