so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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