were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
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it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
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Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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