Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
no more duck duck goose at the bar
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You dont lie about slip and slides
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
