from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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