It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
