In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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