How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
