I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
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No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
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You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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