I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
