Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Randomize
