You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
