Cold hands, warm shart.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
