We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
