Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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