I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
