I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
