Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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