Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
