Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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