Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
