he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
