Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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